Hallelujah!

That's right people.  That is an authentic, non-Photoshoped picture of me standing on my own 2 feet.  It may not come across, but I am actually putting nearly equal weight on my atrophy-shriveled left leg.

I was given the go ahead to start putting light weight on my foot when I use my crutches or stand and I was surprised how good it felt.  While the wound (which Sarry mysteriously keeps calling "the incision") still looks REALLY funky, if there is minimal twisting or pressure I can actually maneuver without crutches.  It only works for very short distances but it's a start.  I have also made it my goal to be able to drive Jim to the airport in Simferopol on Monday afternoon so I have to take it smart and easy this weekend.  Driving is more controlled and will involve much less pressure than even gentle walking.  Stay tuned to see if I can rejoin the ranks of the useful in the next 48 hours.

Moments of the surreal

There are moments when an event or series of events occur and it makes you reexamine how strange your life has become.  This is my evening:

-Sarah's gone to get a cavity filled at a Ukrainian dentist that helps us on the side after hours (her appointment was for 8pm).

Update: Sarah just made it back and not only was her cavity filled... for free, but our dentist also gave us home-grown eggs and milk from his backyard.  Now that is hospitality.

-Our 2 year old son is still out running around camp in the dark (it's 9:25pm; an hour and a half after bed time) with a 35 year-old Ukrainian... I have no idea exactly where.

-I'm flat on my back (mostly) because I hit my sandaled foot with an ax after completely missing my targeted branch.  I'm passing time by watching all the Indiana Jones films and transferring mp3s to friend's phone from my Mac via Bluetooth; hitting OK every minute or two before every one of the 53 desired tracks.

What steps did I take in my life that led me to such an interesting 4th of July eve?

Check-up

This morning I had an appointment at the hospital with the Doc who stitched me up.  That is to say, I was asked to come to the hospital before 10 this morning and try to locate him for a follow-up examination.  We arrived before 9 and laid out an ambush for him in front of his 3rd floor office.  After an hour he finally arrived and asked us to meet him back downstairs.  A short wait later and I was led to an examination room.

I was to learn later that he told Tanya he intended to stick a pair of pliers into the center of my wound, between the stitches (right at the most tender spot) and spread it apart to see how it bled.  Tanya did not have time to explain this to me before they strategically forced her to wait outside.  Needless to say I was surprised at the procedure and I am sure that the look on my face conveyed that emotion.  After I assured him that the pain was concentrated in that area and no more stabbing/spreading would be needed, he had it re-wrapped and said I could go; something I happily did, right after my lightheadedness abated.

The prognosis was this.  Despite swelling in middle of the slash, he determined that it was more due to blood pooling in that area than a serious degree of infection.  He proscribed (sort of a misnomer since you can buy nearly anything over-the-counter, no questions asked) blood thinners and an ORAL antibiotic.  No more injections in my butt... which is nice because Andrey had decided this should be his job.

He also determined that sitting on my lazy (and now injection-bruised) butt for 95% of the day was not nearly immobile enough to allow healing.  I have been banned from moving around the house or going to meals for at least 2 or 3 days.  As such, this is essentially the only view I will have for the next 72 hours.  Oh joy...

PLEASE EMAIL AND SKYPE ME!!!!!

Foot Update

Ok, here is the latest report on the incident that I think I will refer to as "Sandalgate":

First I would like to correct the record.  In my last post I claimed that the injury in question was sustained on Saturday morning, probably leading most of you to wonder what you were doing at work on a weekend.  Even though we are ahead of most of you (somewhere between 7 and 9 hours), I am actually not so far in the future that I experience Saturday morning sometime in the middle of your Thursday night.

After sufficient testing of the pain pills (codeine I think), I decided for a further injection before bed last night.  The pain was significantly higher than what I figured I could sleep through.  It did the trick but an additional sleeping aid would have been appreciated.  Aside from the bruises that are developing on my tail end from the meds and antibiotics shots, I am feeling pretty good on the medication front.  This morning I was feel confident about my pain threshold and skipped my codeine altogether.

Every morning and night I have to have the dressing changed and the wound cleaned.    At roughly 9:24 am I realized the error of foregoing my meds when Doctor Olga started to swab the wound.  Sufficed to say, it is probably a good thing that I don't know any really bad Russian words.  While the name Doctor Olga may bring to mind a massive middle-aged Eastern European woman with a love for inflicting pain, in reality she is our small (though certainly middle-aged) and very sweet camp pediatrician.  She is very patient with me, her biggest patient (thank you, thank you! I'll be here all week), even when I start to get a little uneasy as the big needles come out.

I have been forced to swallow my pride since, in my current form, I don't appear to be all that injured...and yet I can only tolerate being upright for so long before my foot is burning and throbbing against its stitches.  I spent yet another day laying in bed trying not to seem pathetic while being... well, pathetic.  I am worried that sometime early next week my boredom and pride will combine to create a perfect storm in ignoring doctor's advice.  The worst thing is that every evening for the past 3 weeks there has been wall-to-wall football on TV; a tournament whose final game is tomorrow.  Talk about bad timing...

Lessons Learned and Random Thoughts

I want to make an attempt to get out in front of the rumors which some of you may hear coming out of the HopeCenter in the next few days.  Please know that what I present here is straight scoop and anything beyond that can be considered exaggeration (unless someone tells you exactly how white my face had become by the time I made it to the car).

This morning (Friday, June 27th) at around 10:30 I was cutting up a downed tree limb with an ax when I missed my intended target and sliced open my left foot.  As far as I can determine, the gash in about 5-6 inches long and maybe and inch or more deep.  Were I to have an arch (I have VERY flat feet), the cut would run roughly the length of it, just under the first foot bone (which I think are called metatarsals).  I was understandably alarmed at the flesh that I could see hanging out and though I didn't lose a dangerous amount of blood, it was enough to scare me.

At the time I was in the back corner of camp with Sarah, Campbell and another girl.  Sarah ran for help as I tried to limp towards where I knew the car would pick me up.  I had the presence of mind to use my shirt to apply pressure.  The security guard Artur came running and helped me limp further as my vision kind of blurred.  As I mentioned, I didn't lose that much blood but I do have a thing with seeing my own accompanied by whatever that gross stuff was that was hanging out of the wound.  To complicate matters, Campbell sensed the panic and wanted me to hold him.  What a strange scene of me limping with the help of Artur while carry my very concerned son.  Our rag-tag procession made it to the car where Cam and I joined Sarah, Jenya and Tanya.

Tanya drove us rapidly to the hospital - halfway to which my vision cleared and I began to look at the situation more reasonably.  Upon arrival, Jenya - all 5' 4" 125 pounds of him - bodily lifted me and transported me into the hospital and the waiting wheelchair.  It may seem melodramatic to be carried for a simple cut foot, but the issue was that I couldn't keep pressure on the wound while limping or hopping; I still felt silly.

We got to see a doctor quickly and was a bit confused when he looked at the wound and in all seriousness mumbled "maladietz," meaning "good job."  We were left to contemplate what I was being congratulated for (perhaps my clearly skillful sharpening of the ax in question) for only a minute before I was wheeled into a room for stitches (the actual number of which - both internal and external - I never determined).  After some wincing and a few deep breaths they had it all stitched up and the doctor declared that there was no muscle or artery damage, though it was close to doing both.  I think we'll have to see later if there was nerve damage.

I did have the presence of mind to realize that I would want some shots for this blog entry so below are some fuzzy phone photos (I'll blame the silly alliteration on the pain meds) of my foot.  

I am on bed rest for at least a few days with antibiotic shots and follow-up doctor visits on the agenda for a week or so.  That means that more than ever I would appreciate comments, emails, Twits, Skypes and blog posts of your own to pass my boring days.  Expect a high volume of post from my end as well.

So, back to the post title... what lessons have I learned?

First and foremost, forestry and sandals are ALWAYS a bad idea.  Secondly I would like to say that Jenya and I have become blood brothers.  Not just because I bled on him or in the Hepatitis sense of the word but in that I was there when he took a pit bull tooth straight through his right foot and he was instrumental in helping me this morning.  He made the hilarious comment that he and I would be awesome in a 3-legged race; provided we teamed up my gimpy left leg with his gimpy right (I'm calling that one as the Line of the Day).

In all seriousness, even though I think I could have made it into the hospital myself (I had already made it the 60 yards to the car mostly under my own power while simultaneously trying to care for Campbell), it was an amazing thing to see this man of small stature but enormous heart.  I was honored by the effort that he put forward on my behalf and I love him that much more for what he did for me today.

Remember, I need your comments and questions or I'll be stuck scouring YouTube for hilarity... for which I am also accepting recommendations.