The iPhone or something like it

Since its release, Slick and Kacie have blogged their delight about the new iPhones and, feeling a little left out I decided to write about my high end handheld.  Here it is, the true Crackberry:

This particular piece of electronics (with the emphasis on piece) was somewhere near middle-of-the-line when it was purchased 2 1/2 years ago.  It has a state of the art abacus calculator, email only matched by that of machines 1/4 it's size, a processor that rivals first generation Ataris and a full 3- or 4-shade color screen.  Its web-surfing capabilities function at nearly twice the speed of smell (credit for that quote to comedian Ron White).

As you can see in the advertising photo above, it can be upgraded in many ways.  I opted to remove 3 of its 4 main screws to shed valuable ounces while adding a strip of lightweight duct tape to maintain the structural integrity of the hand held.  For a touch of uniqueness and individuality I added the reflective patches on all sides of the massive 3 inch display through a special process of "pumice shining" (achieved by keeping the phone in my pocket with warehouse grime).  For additional grip when making speedy calls, I "drop roughed" all the corners, utilizing the pavement of countless warehouses and storage facilities around the country.  As part of my contract with Verizon, I am informed fortnightly about my outstanding balance which occasionally gives me a period of peace from those pesky (though important) emails, voice mails and phone calls.

All in all, the RIM Crackberry is a phone of epic capabilities and aesthetics.  If you'd like to own this PIECE of custom electronics, you can pick it up in the bottom of my office trash can on December 11th.