Why is it that when I give a hug to a guy from an older generation (at church or something), more often than not we end up with an awkward jockeying of faces as we try to figure out which way our heads need to go to avoid kissing?
The question was back on my mind as I just experienced this yet again with the father of Andrey (the young guy that was stuck in South Africa) when I met him for the first time today.
I think I have the answer...
Generally when I hug someone of my own generation, they are familiar with the "bro hug" in which you grab each other's right hand (in a manner like you might if you were trying to save them from falling off a cliff rather than shake hands) and then use your free left arm to hug them... all the while keeping the heterosexual barrier of both guys' clasped and folded arms between you. This greeting only allows you to put your face to the left (on your "bro's" right shoulder).
Stick with me here....
This means that everyone under the age of about 37 (and a select few longtime youth pastors) will instinctively go left every time. When you hug a guy - even in the 2-armed way - who doesn't have that instinct, it's likely that they'll go to their dominant side... putting you straight face-to-face in a romantic embrace.
Any thoughts on this theory?
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Well argued - your point is taken and in my opinion - valid. Specifically the "man barrier," which I contend is set at a minimum of 3 inches. Now this barrier can be the combination of two arms as you suggest, but can also be clothing, large coats, shoulder pads, etc.
ReplyDeleteYou'll also note that the minimum distance requirements grow in proportion to the amount of clothing worn. I.E. - More clothes, less distance - swimsuit, no direct chest contact. So on and so forth. Age is another variable that can effect this distance - a variable that requires carts, graphs, and a spreadsheet.
lol. I think this whole concept in hilarious. Now my question is how does nationality play a role, or does it. Coming from a Scandinavian family, a hand shake from a distance of at least a foot away among the men was the closest I ever saw. Hug...What's a Hug?
ReplyDeleteNaomi asks a great question. Nationallity plays a significant part in the socialization of proper and appropriate physcial displays of affection from man to man. A Greek would as soon kiss another man as he would hug him. For Saudis and others from the near east it is normal for men to hold hands walking down the street. No big deal.
ReplyDeleteWhere it gets funny, down right hilarious, is when we throw in puritan values. You don't have to be Amish, Scandinavian, or from rural America to openly express discomfort at sincere mano-a-mano respect and effection. All you need is some distant relative to share a puritan value and a hug like a his own son lives in a bubble. Good times...