Who's Afraid of that GAI?

I realized today that I've been remiss in posting on Ukraine and I apologize for that.  I thought I would try to get myself back in the saddle by giving an update on my ongoing goal of avoiding being stopped by the traffic police.

These pillars of Ukrainian society are known here as GAI (or Государственная автомобильная инспекция if you speak a little Russian) or DAI depending on the language.  As in the US, these officers of the law are held in very high esteem by the citizenry, who have been know to extol, "Police and criminals; same thing, just different uniforms."  In all seriousness, I have struggled to deal with this absolute distain for authority as I feel that as a follower of Christ, I am obliged to show them respect.  Since I began driving on my 2nd day in Ukraine, I have been slightly paranoid about being stopped by these guys - to the point of purposely taking circuitous alternate routes to avoid driving past them.  Let me back up and explain how traffic stops work in Ukraine...

The GAI usually stand next to the road looking pretty much like the fine gentleman in the picture.  As people drive by, they scrutinize each vehicle until they find one that they would like to inspect (this can also be done for traffic infractions).  They then point at that person with a little striped baton and he/she is obligated to pull over for a random inspection of documents or whatever else the officer might like to check out.  Generally they will attempt to find something wrong with the vehicle in question at which time they gladly accept a "contribution" (usually enough to buy a coffee or lunch) to forget the aforementioned mechanical problem.  You can imagine that as one not familiar with this little dance or the language in which it is conducted, I was not looking forward to my first run at this.

So last week I was given my chance.  I was driving to a feeding program when I was randomly selected.  I was accompanied by 2 Ukrainians, neither of which spoke English well enough to translate.  Surprisingly, this is an advantage.  The key for foreigners is the frustrate the officer long enough for him to determine that it isn't worth a cup of coffee to continue the harassment.  We pulled this off expertly and were told to carry on.

With my trial run out of the way, I decided to up the level of difficulty and within the week got stopped again, this time for passing in a no passing zone.  I know, I know.  Not very Christian, huh?  I learned my lesson.  This time the observant officer also caught that my permission papers for driving the Hope Center car (I get a new document every month) was mistakenly dated for February of 2007 not 2008.  He seemed to be very perturbed by this but was won over my "ah, shucks" American charm...ok, not really.  He called for his partner to come over and use the half-dozen English phrases that he knew on me.  When I still wouldn't give in to his "coffee money blackmail" he sullenly walked away and said, "gud buy".

I write this because I plan to continue testing the Ukrainian legal system until I find something that money can't fix...ok, that's a lie too.  

It brings up a moral question and I really want the opinion of you readers.  So, honestly....

Is it wrong for me to pretend that I speak even less Russian that I really do and play up my "Americaness" to avoid them shaking me down for a few hrivnas of coffee money?